The Adventures of the XBabies
by PK Lam
Summary: When Mohoe starts losing ratings on his planteary network, what will he do to keep the X-Babies on the air?


The Bounty Adventures of the X-Babies Mohoe Mayhem 

            "Run X-Babies, keep running!" shouted Babesatter.

            "We've runin' as fust as we cem Babesatter!" shouted Baby Destiny.

            "Owwe!  Mah foooot hasanail in it!  Yeow!" wailed Baby Maverick.

            "I'll carry you Baby Maverick just keep going!  We need to reach the other dimension!" exclaimed Babesatter as she picked up Baby Maverick.

            "You wee little X-Brats are gonna be put out of commission for good!" called Babynapper, one of Mohoe's helper's.

            "Be quiet you big bully!  You're so mean.  A weetle noodle sting meght slow you down!" cried Baby Telepath as she sent butt shaped psionic blasts at the Babynapper.

            "Yeoch!  Wowwowowoyahoo!" he cried.

            "Wayta go Telepath!" exclaimed Baby Aurora.

            "Quick!  Run through the portal!" Babesatter urged.

            All the X-Babies ran into the portal, landing in a baby version of Earth.  They were all huffing and slumping when suddenly the hand of the Babynapper burst out of the open portal.

            "EEEKK!" cried Baby Revanche, "Blink!  Close tee portall!  Quick!"

            "Okay!  Hippyadcedcrapadee!  Poof!" exclaimed Baby Blink as she closed the portal.

            Then the hand of Babynapper fell to the floor disconnected from the arm of the Babynapper.

            "Eeew!  That's gross!" exclaimed Baby Liquid.

            "Oh I have to….BLLLOOOORRRRR!" cried Baby Starfire as he barfed all over his fellow babies.

            "GROSS!  You're a sicko!" yelled Baby Cyclops. "Now we'll all stink unta we find a pee place tah wash off the yukies!"

            "Calm down now babies, everything will be all right.  We'll find a Borrow Room Place and then we can bathe ourselves okay?" asked Babesatter.

            "Uh….okay, but I haveta pee weal bad Babesatter.  I haveta go reet now!" cried Baby Colossus.

            "Ohmigosh!  Ummm…..go pee at the bushes!"

            "But I don't know how."

            "Whadayamean?!!"

            "I can't pee by me self."

            "Oh sister!  Here, go to the bushes, pull down your pants and pee.  Got it?"

            "Yes ma'am.  Do I go now?"

            "Of course!  Go, go, GO!"

            Baby Colossus ran toward a bush holding his wiener then pulled down his pants and started to pee.

            "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  That feels better."

            Then suddenly Baby Beast popped his head out of the bushes looking straight at Baby Colossus' wiener.

            "Eeww!  You got a metal wiener!  Eeeww!" Baby Beast gagged.

            "Hey!  It's normal.  Geez, I betcha yours is blue'n'furry!"

            "Is not!"

            "Is too!"

            "Is not not not not!"

            "Is too too too too!"

            "That's enough you two.  Let's go find a Borrow Room Place and get some rest." Commanded Babesatter.

            "Okay.  We're sorry." they said.

            "That's better.  Now let's go.  Mohoe will start looking for us again."

            Meanwhile, at Mohoe World, Mohoe sits at his office mourning his failure.  Then when Babynapper came in Mohoe burst with anger!

            "You split, bubble, double, egg splitting, rotten jeayoug, blisterin' idiot you!  How could you let those brats escape!  Now my network will run out of business!" Mohoe roared.

            "I'm sorry lord Mohoe but I lost a hand trying to capture them!  Isn't that enough of a lost?!" snapped Babynapper.

            "No way!  You should have lost your head!  That way I could use your body as a punching bag!  You idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot!"

            "Oh yeah?!  Well I quit being your stupid tracker you pig-headed dork!  I quit, yer hear!?"

            "Fine!  Leave, but just remember you'll pay for this!"

            Then Babynapper stormed out the office angry.  Suddenly Mohoe's secretary, named Malor Fat, came in holding bundles of papers.

            "Hello my lord.  I know I have come without your permission but I have papers for you to sign to confirm the cancellation of the X-Babies TV shows and toys and books and clothes, and lunch pails, and shoes, and candy, and food, and crayons, and toilets, and sinks, and sewers, and showers, and poohs, and pees, and burgers.  So please sign here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, of course here, here –" blabbered Malor Fat but was cut off by Mohoe.

            "BE QUIET!  I NEED SILENCE AND YOU OUTTA BE OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU GET TURNED TO A FAT BLOB!" Mohoe screamed.

            "I'm sorry my lard.  Please forgive me."

            "That's better.  Now I want you to hire some guy to get back those brats.  I need them to continue my network!"

            "Okay but what about all these papers?"

            "Throw them into the toxicwaste basket.  In the mean time, get a guy and tell Tairl to show those stupid Uncanny Olympicos."

            "Yes sir." Said Malor Fat as she took off.

            Back with the X-Babies they were roaming about Egg Yolk City trying to find a Borrow Room Place.  A few minutes later they found one called Ga-Ga Inn.

            "Hey look!  There's one!  The Ga-Ga Inn." Exclaimed Babesatter, "Let's go check in."

            They went into the lobby and found the assistants where baby clothing and sucking on bottle nipples.  Babesatter and the babies walked up to the registration desk, awaiting assistance.

            "Um….excuse me but we would like to check into a room." said  Babesatter.

            "Hee looa peoples.  A room fer how many?" asked the assistant.

            "Well let's see…….a room for sixteen please."

            "Sixteen, okay that'll be twenty-four bottles of milk."

            "Twenty-four?!  We have only fifteen bottles!  Can we do some arrangements?"

            "Nah, that's okay.  I'll sleep un a cup so we cen hevee a borrow room." suggested Liquid.

            "Okay then it'll be a room for fifteen."   

            "That'll be ten bottles." said the assistant.

            Babesatter gave him ten bottles and he gave her the key to the room they were to stay in.

            "Upstairs, room 1,001,306, on the 100th floor."

            "Thanks very much mister man." Thanked Storm when Blink squeeked.

            "I have un idea!  I'll telleypert us inta the room without haveta un luckin' if!  Okay?" Blink suggested.

            "Okay.  Do it Blink!" said Babesatter.

            "Okay, okay.  Hippodickipoie poof man bamf!"

            Then the large, turquoise portal appeared before them with bubbly noises coming from it.

            "Enter the telleypert express everbodee!"

            They all went into the portal and arrived within the large room with a whole bunch of baby toys all over the place, but there was one problem.  The door knob on the door was locked from the outside!

            "Umm Babesatter!  The door's'n lock frem the outside!" cried Cyclops.

            "What?!!" she exclaimed.

            "There's no wind gluss thingies either." added Storm.

            Then suddenly, the room started to cave into them.  The rooftop began to crack and dust started to fall from the cracks.  The unstable rooftops strained to keep itself from collapsing but the strain became to great for the roof to bear.

            "Hwelp!  We need hwelp!" cried Revanche.

            "Calm down babies!  We need to teleport outta here!  Blink do it!" urged Babesatter.

            "I'm trying, but I cen't do it!  I tink tis room es telleypert poof." replied Blink.

            All of a sudden a voice came on mocking them.  The voiced sounded like a man but it also sounded like a woman as well.  The mocking voice laughed at the X-Babies and didn't stop.  He sounded like a hyena high on laughing gas from the circus of Native Americans.

            "Hello brats, I'm the Baby Terminator, man!  Yeah, man!  That's right, man!  You'll all be sorry for messin' with Mohoe man!  Let's party, man!"  Baby Terminator exclaimed.

            Then the ceiling stopped falling down.  The image of the collapsing ceiling was only an elaborate hologram made to scare the pint-sized X-Babies.

            "Hey, man!  What's going on, man?!  This ain't supposta happen, man!  Whatcha do guys, man?!" Baby Terminator exclaimed.

            "Nah, hah, maha, nah, nah!" mocked Aurora, "I found the fuzz box wit all the wire gadgets and I made it meltdown!  Heh, heh!"

            "Ya little brat, man!  I hate you brat, man!"

            "Wayta go Aurora!  Yahoo!" exclaimed Telepath.

            "Not the best time to celebrate.  Timeline, quick!  Get us outta here!" cried Babesatter.

            "Okay, here goes something!" Timeline exclaimed.

            Suddenly thousands of bright, nearly blinding stars appear spinning and twirling in circles.  Then they came together to form a worm hole portal.

            "Wow, the stars er bery perttie!" Revanche commented.

            "That's nice Revanche but let's go before something bad happens." urged Babesatter.

            Then, in a jiffy, the X-Babies escaped the squishy room and into a park with gray grass and purple trees.

            "Horray! We finally got outta the place!  That Baby Terminator was weal--," started Starfire but then the evil little terminator appeared out of nowhere holding his giant squirt gun high.

            "Okay brats, man!  Yer gonna get it now, man!"

            "Cyclops!  Blast him!  Blast him hard!"  Babesatter exclaimed.

            Cyclops let out a mega optic beam that set the Baby Terminator soaring!  The X-Babies cried for joy as they saw him flying across the sky with his diaper burnt away from Cyclops' attack.  After the Baby Terminator disappeared into oblivion, Mohoe appeared with an angry expression on his face.

            "ROAR!  You pesky brats are coming with me now or you'll all pay ultimate sacrifices!" Mohoe warned.

            "There's no way you're going to make us go with you!  You treated them and me like the trash you can find lying around near your @$$!" roared Babesatter.

            "I knew I treated you guys like trash!  I don't care!  As long as I get money and you guys provide the ratings, you can go swim in a ragin' river of pooh for all I care!"

            "We're not coming back so back off Mohoe!"

            "Oh yes you are!  With the help of some of my hypnotic far!" exclaimed Mohoe as he let out a loud, lusherous fart.

            "I feel good!  Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner!  I know that I would now!  Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner!  I have toxic gas!  In my butt are worms and ants!  Oh yeah!  I feel good!" sang Mohoe.

            "Oh you're so sick you big fat dirty rat!" cried Babesatter but then the fart started to take affect, "No, I can't get under the spell.  Telepath!  Quick shield us!"

            "Yes ma'am!" she called then a TK shield engulfed the X-Babies protecting them from the gas.

            "That was weal gross!" cried Beast.

            "His fart sounded  like pee dripping from a butt to the Niagara Falls!" exclaimed Morphsvan.

            "Yuck!  We'll talk about that later.  Now, we need a plan to get rid of Mohoe.  Any ideas?" asked Babesatter.

            "Umm….Storm ken shock him wit her lightning, then Revanche ken shake her…um…his mind wit the psychic blade, then Starfire ken roast him to a crisp!  Pretty good huhn?" suggested Timeline, "Oh yeah!  Then I'll send him ta another galaxy or something!"

            "Great idea!" exclaimed Beast.

            "Let's do it!" chimed Liquid.

            "Okay, on my mark, 1…2…3…now!" Babesatter shouted.

            Storm arose to the air, using Mohoe's fart to lift her then she called upon the lightning.

            "Hey!  People up there!  I need a super big lightning storm!" Storm called.

            Then the air started to crackle with electricity, then the sky filled with lightning directly targeting at Mohoe.  The lightning roasted him and thrust her blade straight into Mohoe's mind.

            "Take that ya overgrown slug!" cried Revanche.

            Mohoe spun violently then he fell over flat as paper.  Starfire quickly arose his flame then he blasted Mohoe, melting his skin into liquid skin.

            "I'm melting…I'm melting…I'm melting." Mohoe cried.

            Timeline gathered up the neutrons stars then blasted Mohoe 45, 000,000 feet underneath in the year 4356 AD.  The babies leaped for joy and cheered since the odious stench of Mohoe's fart is not to be smelled ever again.

            "Hip, hip, horray!" the babies exclaimed.

            "No more fatso, stupido, dorko, Mohoe!" Maverick cheered.

            "Mohoe won't be bothering us anymore.  Let's go home." said Babesatter, then a taxi came by and she called, "Hey taxi!  Yo!  Can you take us to Happyworld?"

            "Happyworld?" the driver asked, "That place's been deserted for years.  Why you wanta go there?"

            "Personal stuff," Storm said as they climbed in the backseat.

             The driver drove for about fifteen minutes then they arrived at Happyworld.  It was large and was pink, blue, and yellow.  The X-Babies went in and admired the place.

            "Home, sweet home." said Beast happily.

            "It'll be fun remodeling this place." Commented Babesatter, "But it'll take a long time."

            The babies ran around the room chasing each other and pulling down each other's pants.  Then they screamed at each other.

            "Kids." Babesatter muttered.

            "What?!" they exclaimed.

            "Nothing."

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